At the End of the Day
by Servatia
Summary: Kind of conclusion to Fire but can stand alone just fine. Warning: SLASH and mind the rating.


_This can stand alone as a kind of h/c-ish PWP but is meant to be at the end of _Fire_, between the last chapter and the epilogue. But now I swear I'm done with my _Elements_ for good._

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><p>Jim leaned back with his eyes closed. Slowly, very slowly, it sank in that Spock was alive and safe and home. He pressed against the figure behind him, felt the strong arms come around him, securing him in the tub filled with steaming water and a very mild scent that wouldn't offend the sensitive Vulcan nose. He twisted and stared at his lover's face, half lying on top of him, half floating. 'I am well, Jim,' the gentle voice said. Jim swallowed.<p>

'No, you're not,' he said roughly. 'You're half starved and still need to check in with the Doctor.'

'I rephrase then. I will recover, and I feel … I feel fine.' Jim held on to his bondmate, pressing his face into his neck. Spock caressed him, his hands travelling over his back and his sides. Jim started to feel the exhaustion over the past few days threatening to overwhelm him, the adrenalin rush over now that they were back together, Spock was cured of the madness that had been inflicted on him, and their bond was unharmed. His eyes closed, first because he enjoyed the close contact, but in the end, he was also tired. So tired. 'Jim … falling asleep in a bathtub is potentially dangerous.' Jim chuckled.

'Like you're going to let me drown.' He pushed himself to a more stable position and took the Vulcan's face into both of his hands. 'My dear Spock,' he whispered, stricken with the sheer fact of his lover's presence. Closing his eyes again, he leaned down and kissed him, putting all he felt into the contact. The hands on his sides gripped him more firmly, and when he teased Spock's lips with his tongue, the Vulcan pulled him down. Their groins met, the feeling somewhat unusual in the water, but certainly pleasant. Very pleasant. The kiss turned frantic. Jim felt the insatiable need to feel all of this man, right now, feel the life within him, feel his strength. He groaned and positioned himself, straddling Spock, prepared to take him inside. The Vulcan froze and sat up abruptly.

'No,' he said. His voice was filled with something akin to panic. Before Jim could do so much as form a question in his mind, Spock was out of the water and had vanished in their quarters. Jim managed to dry himself and wrap a towel around his hips before he followed, torn between reluctance and the need for an explanation.

Spock had retreated into the corner he used for meditation. He had slipped into his black robe and sat with his eyes closed. Jim didn't buy it. 'Spock,' he said gently. Hurt and worry were fighting for the upper hand within him. The bond was silent, a stubborn Vulcan shield for once keeping him out. Jim knelt in front of his bondmate, waiting for half a minute before he tried again. 'Spock, what did I do?' The dark eyes opened, looking haunted. 'Is it the drug? Is it still troubling you?' A minute shake of the head, then a sigh.

'No. But I believe that for the time being you and I should keep a certain distance.' Jim had long learned that Spock was honest to a fault and could appreciate the same.

'All right,' he said and stood. 'I will. I don't understand why and I'm hurt. I … am sorry. I don't know what I did to you.'

'You did nothing,' Spock said. 'I … Jim, I still see the injury I caused to you. I am frightened that if we … I could lose control.' Jim's eyes closed as realisation dawned on him. He almost laughed but caught himself, not wanting to belittle Spock's genuine concern.

'Spock … come here.' When Spock hesitated, he reached out, offering his hand and smiling in a way he knew made Spock melt. Indeed the Vulcan allowed him to pull him to his feet and into his arms. 'Don't run from me. I need you right now.' He pulled away enough for their eyes to meet. 'You told me once you couldn't hurt me, and I took that quite literally. So what are you scared of?' Spock tried to move away, but Jim just held him tighter. If Spock wanted to leave, he would certainly be able, but Jim wasn't giving up without a fight. 'Spock, please,' he said softly. 'You don't want to hurt me? You're hurting me with your retreat. You're frightening me.' He looked at Spock, his expression imploring.

'That is not my intention. But I am not a machine that delivers sex at the push of a button.' At that, Jim let him go and took a step backwards. He felt as if he had been slapped.

'Very well,' he managed and turned away.

'Jim, wait.' He closed his eyes and took a deep breath but didn't face Spock again. He couldn't right now. He wanted to be angry, but all he felt was shock and a rising sense of self-doubt. Had he coaxed Spock into more physical closeness than the Vulcan was comfortable with?

'Spock, I think it's best if we … give each other some space right now.'

'That did not come out the way I had intended. I am sorry. Please look at me.' Reluctantly, he did. 'Please come back here.' Jim folded his arms and shook his head. 'I know that you did not mean to …' He lowered his voice and his gaze. 'I love you, Jim. I hope I did not cause you to doubt that.' Despite himself, Jim returned to the Vulcan.

'How am I supposed to be mad at you when you get like that?' He tilted up Spock's chin. 'For your information, sex was the last thing on my mind right now. I want to talk to you. I want you to talk to me. To let me in.'

'I know. What I said was unworthy. I am very uncomfortable with this situation and I feel highly inadequate. I lashed out and I am very sorry about that. You do not deserve such a remark.' Jim nodded.

'It's all right, love. Just … don't shut me out. What's wrong?'

'This,' Spock said emphatically, gesturing at Jim's arms that were still bruised from his visit to Spock when he was slowly losing his mind. 'I did this. And I am also sure I cracked your skull when I shoved you away.' Jim had to fight the impulse to take Spock into his arms again, but apparently touch wasn't the way to go right now.

'Nonsense. My head didn't even touch the ground. I dislocated my shoulder and have to watch my arm a bit for the next couple of days.' He grinned. 'That I got into a fight later didn't help.'

'So here it is. I did hurt you.' Jim rubbed the bridge of his nose.

'We've hurt each other worse by accident in the gym, Spock. More than once. You always fret when you bruise me, but I've once broken your wrist and you forgave me.'

'I fell rather unfortunately. That I was unable to catch myself properly is hardly your fault.'

'More than this is yours, because you weren't yourself. You always offer absolution, are prepared to forgive anything done to you, yet you punish yourself so harshly.' He reached out with both hands, happy beyond words when Spock took them. 'Don't torture yourself like that. Accidents happen, and this … this was one. I'll have the bruises removed tomorrow.'

'Does it still hurt?' Jim shook his head.

'No.' Spock tugged at the hands and pulled Jim into his arms. He tensed involuntarily. 'Spock … am I too … sexualised? Do you feel you're under some sort of pressure?' Spock caressed his back, the touch light and comforting.

'I do not, nor did I ever. My words were entirely unfair.'

'I just wonder if there wasn't a grain of truth in them. There often is in such things.'

'Nonsense. I desire you as much as you do me.' He let his hands wander down to cup Jim's buttocks under the towel.

'Because … it's mostly me initiating anything.' Spock's eyes were smiling.

'I am gratified that you take such pleasure in our union. For me, this is still relatively new. I do not always know when sexual contact is appropriate. Or how much.' Jim had a sudden vision of Spock starting to strip him on the bridge and couldn't help laughing.

'What do you mean?' he asked at last.

'I know that when humans are angry or hurt, they often do not wish to have intercourse.'

'Or they want it even more. Especially if it's not about release but something much, much more. And … when I'm really not in the spirit for something like that, you'd know, wouldn't you?'

'Very likely.' Spock leaned in and kissed him, causing the floor to fall away from under Jim. It was soothing and warm and deep, giving comfort and reassurance. 'Are you certain you do not wish to wait until I am completely cleared? What if I lose control?' Jim smiled and opened Spock's robe.

'I hope you will. Don't you dare keep that control in place when we make love.' He pushed the offending fabric aside and found Spock half erect underneath. 'I trust you. Don't you know that?' By means of an answer, Spock shrugged out of his robe and let it fall to the floor before hooking two fingers into Jim's towel and tugging it away.

'I do,' he told him, his voice husky with desire. 'I want you, Jim.' Smiling at his Vulcan, Jim led him to the bed and pushed him down onto the mattress. 'But we should be cau…' Shaking his head, Jim covered Spock's mouth with his hand. Two eyebrows rose.

'Don't you dare,' he said again. 'No barrier. I want all of you.' Spock nodded and Jim released him. He knelt beside him and leaned down to kiss him before moving down his chest slowly, leaving a moist trail with his tongue as he progressed from the collarbone to both nipples to the navel. When he got near Spock's sex, now hard and more than ready, he felt Spock tug at his hip and let himself be steered so his groin was hovering above his bondmate's face. The moment touched the tip of his tongue to Spock's erection, he felt moist lips on his own sex and he struggled not to shove himself right into the enclosing warmth. Instead, he focussed on his own task and slowly took the swollen member into his mouth. Their bond was flaring with desire, allowing each to know what the other wanted most.

Holding the solid shaft in both hands, Jim licked over the head, spreading saliva and precum on it, before sucking it between his lips again. He moaned around his lover, feeling the firm grasp Spock had on his hip and the Vulcan's mouth doing incredible things to him. Jim cupped the taut testicles in one hand and took all of Spock inside. He was rewarded by fingers digging into his buttocks and a low groan. His sex was released and instead the skilled tongue started prodding his anus. He threw his head back, Spock's sex slipping from him, and cried out. 'Oh God,' he said. 'Spock, God, Spock, make love to me.'

'I need to prepare you.' Jim pulled away from the other man with a considerable effort and let himself fall on his back beside him.

'Don't be ridiculous, we've done this a million times. You won't hurt me.'

'A million is not quite accurate. We have …' Jim burst into laughter, interrupting him effectively.

'Don't! Don't say it, I don't even want to know.' Spock's eyes were alight with amusement, and Jim beamed at him. But despite the levity of the moment, the Vulcan still looked slightly sceptical, and Jim decided that words weren't going to do the trick here. Focussing on their link, he communicated all his love and desire to Spock, and, most of all, his trust in his bondmate, untarnished by the events of a few days ago. The brown eyes burning into him melted and Spock covered him with his body. He reached down between them, gathering precum from Jim and pushing two fingers inside. Jim's eyes closed and he squirmed, seeking deeper contact.

'Look at me,' Spock said quietly, his breath whispering over Jim's lips. Their eyes locked and Spock withdrew his hand, apparently satisfied that Jim was, indeed, relaxed enough, before sliding his sex inside, slowly, deliberately. Jim forced his eyes to remain open until Spock was buried deep within him. He locked his legs behind his mate's back and shifted slightly to give him the best possible access.

'Good, my love, so good,' he told him, his voice laden with need.

'For me as well, Jim.' When Spock started pulling out with the same torturous, unhurried speed, Jim clutched his shoulders, tilting his head up to kiss Spock. Their tongues snaked around each other, dancing a wet dance, while Spock moved in him, still with deep, so very gentle thrusts. Jim felt ready to burst, but the slow pace kept him on the brink, holding the tidal wave that threatened him at bay.

Unable to take it anymore, Jim planted his feet in the mattress and started urging Spock on with his own movements. The Vulcan's lips turned up by a fraction, a smile so small someone else wouldn't have seen it. 'Do you wish more?' he asked, his tone entirely innocent as if he wasn't just screwing his Captain by every trick in the book.

'Come on, Spock, I'm so close.'

'Yes, you are.' Jim grinned, reaching down, grasping the taut bottom to hasten him. 'You are a greedy human.'

'Yes. Come on, I need you.'

'You are having me as we speak.' Jim groaned and Spock took pity on him. Hooking his arms under Jim's knees, he folded his legs close to his body and started moving faster and harder. Jim's eyes turned back into his skull and he had to close them, moaning uncontrollably. Spock's left hand released his leg and he held it in place automatically. Spock's hand went to Jim's erection instead, milking him along with the movements. 'Is that what you desired?' How Spock could form a coherent sentence was a miracle to Jim. All he managed was to groan in reply and move with him, enjoying their closeness and soaking in the happiness that Spock was gloriously, incredibly alive.

Spock's right hand reached up to Jim's face, caressing his brow and the top of his head, settling there while the Vulcan's lips were pressed to his forehead. 'T'hy'la, I will come,' Spock gasped against his skin, now thrusting into him with abandon, his breath ragged and all control relinquished without regrets. Jim answered through their link, letting him know that he would be with him, and gave in to the release. He felt the contractions start in his loins, pulsing out and taking over his entire body, hot semen spurting onto their bellies. At the same time, Spock stilled inside him, the thrusts turning to a deep grind that came with a wild, unbridled shout of his name.

Slowly, time started to flow again. Jim's hands fell limply from his tight hold on Spock to his sides and he tried to catch his breath. Spock pulled back, his softening member slipping out of Jim, and lay beside him. Not bothering to clean them up, Jim turned to him and they held on to each other in a warm embrace. 'See? You didn't hurt me.'

'Jim.'

'Yes?'

'You are tired. Go to sleep.'

'Good idea.' He pressed his face into Spock's chest, smelling him. 'I couldn't lose you, Spock.'

'Shh. Do not dwell on what might have been. We are alive and have so much time ahead of us.' The Vulcan's voice was quiet and soothing, lulling Jim into sleep.

'Never enough. Never enough, Spock.' Spock sighed.

'No. But while we live, we should make the most of our time. Now sleep, beloved. Feel me and sleep.'


End file.
